i am really glad that i only have to go to school until 11, and finally just maybe, catch up on this missed sleep. Then maybe go skate, I just don’t even feel up to it anymore. I really have been trying to get myself to work out, or even just go for a run, maybe lose some of this belly
I need to rant. I just wanna be able to get out of bed in the morning, with energy, and have a real sleep schedule. I want to be able to actually fall asleep, instead of laying there lifeless from 9:30 to whatever odd hour for 3 hours of sleep. I want to not feel anxious in any sort of social interaction, even if i don’t know the person. I want to not shake every time that I actually do talk to a person. Work’s helped with that. Or even finding a girl to connect with, and maybe even be able to have a relationship. Anxiety hasn’t helped with that, and neither has the whole new school thing. You figure that having gone to 4 different high schools, that you would have somewhat of a friend basis from them. I don’t though, and that bothers me. But really, I don’t understand having friends that I talk to every day, consistently, that talk to me and give a shit. I really wish I could get the balls to schedule a second appointment for therapy, or get my mom to get me into a psychiatrist. I want to not be a whiney little bitch about things, to myself. I wanna feel normal in public places, and i just wanna actually enjoy stuff. I just wish it was that simple. I’m finding out it really isn’t.